Okay, this may be a bit of a downer, but I started this blog in an attempt to help others who might find themselves in a similar situation and this is the truth of where I've been the last couple of days. I feel overwhelmed. With my due date looming ahead, I find that I want just one day of normalcy where I don't have to think about all the things I still need to do: get maternity pictures taken, determine a C-section date, plan a funeral... I think going out to the cemetary touched off this feeling of it all being too much. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel this way all day, but in the quietness of the house it starts creeping up on me.
I've had my brighter moments in the past few weeks too. The elders of our church prayed over me and annointed me with oil. It was wonderful and one of those moments that I know I'll always remember. Also, I contacted our pastor who has been on a medical journey of his own. He has been a real inspiration to me and even wrote an encouraging email back the next day. If you knew his condition, you'd understand just how amazing that is.
Lately, I've been coasting along, relying on others prayers for me. Perhaps, it's time to me to take up the fight again myself...
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2 comments:
Lisa, you are a strong woman of God. Keep your head up, hang in there, hang on. You are a blessing to others. Logan is a blessing to you. He is a miracle. Gods chosen child to do something big with his small life. Keeping you in our prayers.
Boy Lisa, that was one tiny rant. :)
Remember Jesus "ranting" as it were in the garden asking God to take this cup from him. His lousy friends fell asleep during this time! I love that God's heart knows exactly your pain. It helps to know that someone else has an incling of an idea what you're going through and that it's your Creator, your Savior, is huge! He set the example there for us when he turned it all over to his father and said, "Not my will, but yours be done." Hard, hard words to say and to live out.
P.S. I'm at least taking candids of you Sunday!! You are such a cute pregnant lady.
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