Dr appointment - 34 weeks

I was apprehensive about today. Doctor appointment days are always hard. This one was my last appointment with the doctor before she leaves the country. We tried to plan for the different contingencies as best as possible, but I have to say, it was awful. It's like planning your child's death. There's no good way to do it and it's hard to make decisions, knowing that you may regret them later. At this point, if Logan makes it to April 16th, she'll do a C-section that day. If he passes away sooner, they'll induce me. We've been pondering the options for months, but today, in talking about the details - it became very real. Four weeks - that's all I have left. On one hand, this has been the longest pregnancy, but on the other - no amount of time with him will be enough. I hate this and there's nothing that can make it any easier. Lord, help me to see your glory in this...