Updated results

Well, still no word on the gender so I suppose we'll just assume it's a boy until delivery. The doctor returned my call to answer all of my questions so I didn't have to wait until my next appointment - how awesome is she?

Anyway, I'm 22 weeks, but the baby's head is measuring about 18 weeks and the abdomen is measuring about 28 weeks. The bad news is that my amniotic fluid index is down to a 7. Normal range is between 8 - 18 and it typically drops off the closer you get to delivery. I'm assuming it's quite early for me to be so low. If the level drops too low, it puts stress on the baby and could result in preterm death. I know it'll happen one way or another it's just strange to think about it happening sooner rather than later.

Ultrasound results?

Well, we went to a local hospital for an ultrasound to determine why I'm measuring so large. DH and I figured it was due to the size of the baby's polycystic kidneys, but the doctor wanted to confirm why. We wanted to find out the gender as the last ultrasound was inconclusive.

The technician was very nice but seemed a little inexperienced. I'm not sure if it made her nervous dealing with someone with a diagnosis like ours or if she was just new. She wouldn't really confirm much, but just kept referring us to ask our doctor. The last ultrasound tech (at a specialist's office) was able to answer all our questions so I guess we were expecting more. At first she told us it was a girl, but wasn't 100% sure. When she double-checked, she said it was most likely a boy. Okay...which is it...

Anyway, we'll know more after talking to the doctor, but it appears that we were correct about the size of the baby's abdomen being large - causing me to be large. I'm not sure what kind of ramifications this will have on my labor, but I guess we'll figure that out in due time.

Coping I'm sure...

I'm finding it's easier to look forward than to just sit with what is. I've already decided that I'm going to get back into running when I'm able, post-partum. I grew up attending marathons to watch my dad run and entered a few (much) shorter events myself, then began running more corporately, in junior high and through high school.

I still manage to jog in a 5k event every year, but really haven't gotten into it like I was. I guess what I'm thinking is that I miss running and I don't want to end this experience saddled with some (not needed) extra weight. I need something to look forward to.

This blog

I set this blog up a couple of years ago, but haven't used it. I thought I'd have so much to say, but apparently that is not the case - until now. I am currently 21 weeks pregnant with a baby that has a lethal diagnosis, Meckel-Gruber syndrome. Baby is expected to die in utero or shortly thereafter due to multiple defects. We found out about a month ago and it has been a long 4 weeks. Although I know we're making the right decision in continuing this pregnancy, in theory it sounded so much easier than the reality of it.

Some days are fairly normal and others I spend on and off in tears. Today is a little of both. We're home-bound due to snow/ice on the roads and I've been trying to take advantage and get some chores done. Then my 4 year-old brings me back to the reality of the situation by asking if, “…the baby can sleep in his room please.” I so wish I could say yes instead of reminding him that the baby is going to go up to Heaven right after being born...